The life of Jen...

It's been awhile since I've written and lots has been going on in my mind and heart in the past weekish, so I thought I would try to sum it up here...

First, I began going to a new small group about 3 weeks ago, and I am loving it. It is a group of about 6-10 single women around my age. I instantly connected with these women and it has been sweet to meet with them each week. Two weeks ago we began an inductive study of the book Philippians. I have been enjoying digging into the book of the Bible and discussing it with these new friends. Last week was especially good! I love the book of Philippians and it was so good to look into it deeper. We read verses 1-11 and I was very convicted, encouraged and enlightened. I left wondering what my life would look like if I lived a life according to these verses? What would my life look like if I lived as though I KNEW that God has begun a good work in my life and will carry it on until completion? What would it look like if I loved people as Paul loved the people of Philippi? What would it looked like if I always prayed with joy for those I "partner" with (my co-workers, classmates, roommates, friends)? What does it look like to love with all knowledge and discernment? What is the "fruit of righteousness"?!?! Well I'm excited about these new friends and digging into the Word with them! The only down fall last week was that I got pooped on by a bird!

I've been trying to enjoy my last week of summer. I've spent a few days shopping for "professional" clothing (due to the fact that I have to dress up for my internship). Last night my roommates and I went to see Dave Barnes in concert. It was a GREAT concert, he played all of my favorite songs and he is SO funny! These pictures are from the concert. Today I spent the day today getting my hair highlighted and shopping (and I found the greatest sale which made my day!). As much fun as I've had this summer, I am ready to begin school (I never thought I would say those words). I'm even more excited to begin my internship! I talked to my director the other day and she informed me that two of the interns had to drop and therefore it will only be two of us! She said I should be ready for a BUSY semester. I think it will be fun but I know that it is going to be a lot, I'm ready to jump right in!

On more exciting news... I'm going home next week! A week or so ago I was talking to a few of my dear friends and it made me really miss them. That night I realized that I had earned a free ticket from my flights to Thailand, and thought I should use that to go home. So I get to go home for a friend's wedding and another friend's baby shower. I'm going to spend a few days with my oldest and dearest friend Emily, and go to the State Fair with her and her husband! I am very excited to be back in Minnesota for a few days!

Well that's all the updates for now...

My soapbox...

Well I have been back in the States for a little over a week now! It seems as thoughI have been back much longer than that. Arianne and I said our good-byes to the orphange and then headed to Bangkok for one last adventure. We went to the floating market and then saw Batman at the imax (I know, it was a real cultral adventure!) We stayed awake all night in hopes that we would be able to get back on an American sleeping schedule (it didn't work much for me, last night was my first normal night of sleep!)

Now having been back for some time I have been able to sit back and process some of the trip. The last week really stirred a lot of things within my heart. The team that joined us from England really made me question a lot of things. This team was filled with great people, I just really did not like how they went about many things. They were a team who strongly called themselves Christians and yet they hurt so many people in their actions. I saw within that week why some people stear away from Christianity. My heart broke in many ways in that last week. I saw people who I care about and who do not know Christ be ridiculed, I saw many things that I do not agree with and things that I don't think line up with the Bible. I had many times when I saw or heard things that made me not want to be labeled in the same group of these people. I left not wanting to be a "christian" anymore, but loving and cherishing God and Christ more than I ever had before.

The question that has come up for me in the past week is, what does it look like to follow Christ? How do I love people well? How do I love my enemies? How do I enter into the lives of those around me and allow them to see Christ without belittling them? Over the past few years many things about the "christian" community has bothered me. How can someone who is called to love people hate and belittle those who make differnet choices then they do. I have seen and heard so many people who are living a homosexual lifestyle be hurt by "christians". Are these not people we are called to love? If you use the arguement that they are "living in sin", which one of us is not?!?! Why is their sin greater than any other sin?!?! And anyhow shouldn't that make you love them even more?!?! It seems as though at times "christians" can be the most judging of all people. Doesn't the Bible tell us not to judge others?I know I have been guilty of this in the past and I do pray that I would love everyone and I would not let things such as their religious beliefs, or their sexual orientation, or their political party, or any of these distingushing characterisitics get in the way of me seeing them as people I am called to love!

I often think about how I can turn a conservation into a spiritual conservation with someone, something I learned to do in college. But if I look to change every conservation towards God then my conservation will become irrevelant to many people around me. Yes I believe that it is important to talk about spiritual things around those who do not know Christ, but if that becomes a road block for a relationship with a person than it is not worth it. I will love them and hope that this will open the doors for communication. I don't know if any of this makes sense to anyone outside of my head but it's been a bit of a soap box for me lately.

Well I'm done ranting for now, you may agree with me or you may not (I will still love you!). I have two weeks until I start school and am taking those weeks to get some of the things I've wanted to do done. This past week I rearranged my room and chopped all my hair off (pictures will be posted soon!) I love all of you who are reading this!

2 days left...

So I realized today as I laid in bed (which I have done most of the day due to being sick) and realized that we only have two days left here at Care Corner Orphanage! I have not seen the children in what seems like forever due to our visit to the Karen hill tribe and surrounding villages. I missed them so much during those few days and can not imagine how my heart is going to ache when I say good-bye in two days! But let me tell you about my weekend.

The week was filled with many joyful moments, many scary moments, many frustrating moments, and many eye opening moments. The weekend was a struggle for me for a few reasons both emotionally, physically and spirituality. We took two vans and one SUV up to the border of Thailand and Mymnar (currently Burma). We ate lunch at the pastor's house and then went to the local school. While at the pastor's house we were able to talk with him and hear talk about what the village is like. He told us he is paid 1000 Baht (about $32) and a bag of rice a month!Then we were able to hand out the shoes, socks and backpacks we had brought along. It was a sweet time to see such beautiful faces!

From there we went to another Karen village and boy was it an adventure to get there. It is currently the rainy season in Thailand and the road leading to the village in a dirt road, and it up a mountain! Because of my back I was instructed to ride in the SUV while the rest of the team had to ride in the back of two pick-up trucks! On the way up the roads were completely muddy and there were two foot ruts in the road. On one side you a steep slope down the mountain and on the other side a stone wall. There were a few time I feared for my life! When we got the the village I saw a sight I will never forget! It was the most remote village I have ever had the privilege to visit. The mud was everywhere and we just embraced it. We slipped and slided both up and down a large hill that lead from the pastors house to the church. Meanwhile some of the sweet local women would grab our hands and lead us the right way. The night service that first night was long and we were all very tired. We then headed to the places we would sleep. We were broken up into groups of 6 and sent to different houses that were graciously given up for us to sleep in. The next day we got up and had a medical clinic ( the pastor is also the doctor of the village and one of the members of the British team is a doctor). This is when the sickness set in for me. I helping to fill scripts of the doctor and all of a sudden I felt as though I was going to pass out and or throw up. I had woken up with what felt like the start of a sore throat and now these symptoms were too much. I decided to go back to where we slept and lay down. I slept for about two hours and the Et came to check on me and bring me some bananas (oh how I love and will miss this amazing woman!) We then ventured back on the death roads back into "town". There I found some cough drops (which were being sold as candy) and took some Advil. We then stopped at a near by village for another medical clinic and then headed home.

So that is what happened but there is so much more that I do not know how to explain. How do you explain the beautiful faces of men, women and children I encountered this weekend? How do I explain the need for water in this village? How do I explain the heart breaking faces of the clients of the medical clinics? Men and women who do not have access to simply medicine. A woman who cut her foot and now it is infected because she doesn't have anything to clean it out with. Men and women who complained of neck, back or leg pain but could not take to advice of the doctor not to lift anything heaving because they can not afford to not work one day. So many simple things we take for granted. How do I explain the struggles of my heart? How do I explain the questions that have arisen in my mind? Maybe one day I will be able to... until then I will just have to wrestle with these things...

Emotions....

I sit here in the office of Care Corner Orphanage with tears rolling down my face, there are so many emotions going through my mind right now. I'm listening to one of my favorite songs, You Said by Shane & Shane, a song that has always been precious to my heart. O, how I ask for the nations and here I am serving God in a Nation that need Jesus so much. Today we are preparing to leave to go to Mymnar. I can not express how excited I am to go and serve these people who have so little. To go and serve them in whatever ways we can. We are bringing nets, shoes for the 240 children at the school, 3 tons of rice, we are going to build a water tower,we are setting up a medical clinic, doing puppet shows for the children and just going to love and serve anyway we know how!

Last night was so sweet to my heart! I love how these sweet children worship here! I walked into the worship service last night and it just brought joy to my heart. These children were singing, their arms raised in worship, swaying back and forth and jumping around. They give a new meaning to dancing and singing to the Lord. It was so sweet to hear the music of familiar songs and to praise the Lord. Tears came to my eyes and I saw these children worshipping the same God that I worship in such a sweet way!

As excited as I am to be here, to have this opportunity to serve, my heart aches for things back home. I just received some very upsetting news about my brother and I my heart aches for him. I long to be able to tell him that I love him! I have been getting more and more homesick! I miss people, I miss being surrounded by people who speak my language, I miss people who know my heart, I miss being able to pick up the phone and hearing the sweet voices of my Friends, I miss Tuesday nights at OTB with the girls.

My mind has been very distracted by other things lately also, things I thought would not be an issue while over here. But I guess sometimes you cannot run from your thoughts. I have been praying that I would live in the here and the now and focus on what I am here for. The Lord is teaching so much and I don't want to take any of that away from Him because I am consumed with thoughts that I have no control over. So I guess I would love to ask that if you are the praying type that you would keep me in your prayers over this next week. Please pray that I would focus on the Lord, on what He is doing here. Also my back is not doing the greatest, in fact it has been hurting VERY bad lately. Please pray that I would begin to feel better!

I am so very excited to share even more about what God is doing here with you!

The Best Day...

These three words came out of the mouth of our fellow volunteer many times on Friday. Ricky took all five of the volunteers out for the day and Christy continued to say that it was the best day. And I would agree with her!

First we went to Ricky's house to meet up with him and his wife and then we headed out for the day. We first went to a cave which was pretty amazing. We walked up many steps and then down many steps into the cave. I had such mixed emotions as we entered the cave. First I was amazed at how beautiful it was! It was a huge cave that was all naturally made... it was beautiful. But my heart was also filled with sadness, all throughout the cave were large idols. There were buddha statues and little figurines and places to light candles and incense to buddha. Idol worship is very real here, there are idols everywhere and they even have little house that are meant for the demons. It was so sad to me to see all of these idols in a place that God has created so beautifully! I began to think about in the old testament when it talks about going to the caves to worship false idols, this gave me a very real picture of that. I was an amazing experience!

Then we went to the Hot Springs. Here we boiled eggs in the hot springs! And then ate them with soy sauce while our feet soaked in the cooler part of the hot springs. We then went and took a mineral bath which I must say was just AMAZING!!

Afterwards we came back to Chiang Mai and had Japanese food which was extremely good! It was my first sushi experience which turned out to be very good. We then went back to Ricky's house for coffee and to relax a bit, while there we got some amazing news. Ricky decided to rearrange the schedule so that we would be able to go on a trip to Mymnar! They were planning on going the day before we leave but he rearranged and we will now be able to go! I'm so excited!!! And then that we went to the Night Bazaar where we shopped, and bargained with the locals (I do love this about foreign countries!) and then we had just enough time to get a 30 min foot massage and can I say it was 30 minutes of heaven!

So that was our best day! The next day was long (I didn't sleep at all due to a Thai tea at supper and then coffee!) and it was sad to see Holly leave. She left to go go home Saturday night. Sunday after the service we went and got Thai massages! And let me tell you they were AMAZING!!! It was 100Baht for 1 hour which is about $3! Arianne and I took one of the older girls here at the orphanage and got her one also and she loved it!

All in all in was a good weekend! We teach tomorrow and Wednesday and then a team gets here on Wednesday and we will be on a new schedule. I'm sure I'll have lots of fun stories for you!

They are so strong!

So we have offically been at the Orphanage for 1 week now, and it seems as though I have spent my life here! These children have become such a part of my heart. I wake up exicted to see their smiling faces and joy overflows my heart as they grab me by the hand and lead me somewhere to play. Everyday here I realize how hard it is going to be to leave.

On Sunday at the church service they begun by praying for different people. Ladee (our sweet friend who translates for us) was telling us different people to pray for. One of these people was Jai. Jai is a young man who is staff at Care Corner Orphange. Jai grew up at the orphanage since he was a young boy. Now Jai's mom is sick and he has had to go take care of her. I was thinking about that and how hard that must be. To live your whole life feeling rejected by your family and then have to go back help them when they are in need. I think about my own situation and wonder how hard that must be. I don't know if I would be strong enough to do that.

Well anyhow... tomorrow we are going to a Cave and Hot Spring and then to get Thai massages! Ricky is taking us volunteers on a day trip before Holly leaves on Saturday. I'm so excited about that! Here are some of the sweet children I have come to love....

Pim

Net

Apple

The little things...

I always come on trips like this wanting to serve and love the people I am surrounded by. I always ended up receiving more from those people then I feel I have given. We have only been at the Orphanage for 5 days and I already feel as though I have been given so much and have learned so much about what it looks like to serve and love well.

I am amazed each day at how content these children are, they have so little and yet have so much love and joy. They will take you by the hand and walk with you, sit with you and just be. They find great joy in playing hand games, hopscotch (Which it turns out I am NOT good at), coloring or playing simple games. They do not watch Tv or have the little things we take for granted and yet they are so content. Yesterday we took some of them swimming and they just LOVED it. Just the simple thing! It has made me think so much about my lifestyle back home. Why don't I spend more time just being with people I love? Two of my dear friends live .6 miles away and I see them maybe 2 times a week. We feel as though we have to have something to do. I pray that I would simplify my life when I get back to Fort Worth, spending more time with people and just being. I can not speak to these children so the only way I can love them is to be with them, and that means so much to them. I pray I would seek opportunities to go and spend time with those unloved ones in Fort Worth.

It has been fun to see how these 70 children really are a family. The older kids help to care for the younger ones and they all look out for each other. They older ones will help iron clothes for the younger ones. There is one girl Pim, whom we have all fallen in love with, she can not hear very well and therefore cannot hear the dinner bell. Someone will always find her and tell her to line up (if they don't line up in time they miss the meal). They just all help each other out. It is amazing to see the unity of all of them!

I am falling more and more in love with these people. I am learning more about them each day. I leave in just under 3 weeks and I already know it will be so HARD to say good-bye. It will be another lesson I will have to learn. How to continue to love these sweet people while I am in Fort Worth, Texas!