The Back...

So I thought I would write a little update about the whole back situation. It's been about 6 weeks now since I injured my back at work. They had first said that it was a sprain and would heal in a few weeks. Well now six weeks later they have determined that is not true. I had an MRI earlier this week and it showed that I have a bulging disc in my lower back that is pressing on the nerve... Something someone my age should not have. They have referred me to a Orthopedist to see what he can do to help me. My doctor does not think they will have to do surgery but is not sure what they will do. I'm hoping to get in to see the Orthopedist early next week. From the research I have done (which is not much) there is not a whole lot they can do for me...

It has been a roller coaster ride. Some days are better than others but mostly I'm just in pain. They have me on some pain killers but I pray that my life won't be lived on pain killers. I was talking to someone the other day about all of my ailments I've had over the past few years... when can a girl get a break?!?! For the most part I am doing really ok with this one though. I have not allowed my heart to go places it has been before with past things. One thing I am totally thankful for is a diagnosis! No more of this mystery sickness, where we're not sure what is wrong, you are having a 1 in a million reaction and you are a freak of nature stuff! So anyhow that is the story... life is getting back to normal for me. It's just more of a painful normal. I'm having a trial run a work on Monday to see if I am able to go back to work finally. Year 26 has been a rough year for me! Maybe now that it is almost over 27 will treat me better...

Thailand...

So I just returned from 10 days in a country I have come to love! It was an amazing trip that I will never be able to fully put into words. I will try to give you a glimpse into my time there...

We arrived in Chaing Mai at 12:30 am after being on planes and in airports for over 26 hours. We loaded into a truck and headed to Care Corner Orphanage (CCO), our home for the week. In the morning we had our first Thai breakfast then headed over to met the children. I didn't realize that day how much I would fall in love with these sweet faces! That day we were able to do some dentist work on the children and did a lesson on creation with the rest of the children. It was fun to be able to meet and interact with the 70ish kids at the orphanage.

I would love to introduce you to three people who will forever be inprinted on my heart. Net, Nung and Ladee.

Net is a 13 year old boy who is HIV+. He has been at CCO for 3 years. Net lost both of his parents to AIDS. After his parents passed away he was sent to go live with his grandmother. His grnadmother did not have the resources to take care of him and sent him to live at CCO. Net was very sick when he got to CCO. He was in the last stage of HIV and was not expected to live very long. Becasue of a new drug that they are using at CCO Net is completely healthy today. Net and I connected very quickly. He is such a sweet boy. During the chapel services he would come and sit with me and hold my hand and snuggle up to me. Throughout the week I realized that Net could speak pretty good english. I completely fell in love with this sweet boy!

Nung is a 10 year old girl who is HIV+. She has been at CCO since she was very young. She was found at a hospital with nowhere to go. She is very healthy and has such a sweet spirit! She is a girl who is full of love. She loves hugs and holding hands. She is a girl who is in love with the Lord and has a love for the scripture. She went with us to a Buddhist temple and prayed with us.

Ladee is an amazing women. She is 22 years old and has lived at the orphangae since she was in 2nd grade. Her family lives in a tribal area of Thailand. She has 7 brothers and sisters and her family could not take care of her and sent her to live at CCO. She has one of the most amazing stories I have ever heard! You will have to ask me about it and I will share it with you... Ladee is studying English at the Univeristy and wants to become a teacher. She spent the week translating for us. I was able to spend some time getting to know her and she is AMAZING!

Now as far as some of the things we got to do...

At the orphanage we taught 3 lessons and did some dentist stuff. We basically just spent a lot of time hanging out with the children. Spending time loving these sweet children. The orphanage was an amazing place. There is a boys dorm, a girls dorm and The Rainbow Home which houses this the HIV+ children. Ricky Tan (who runs the orphanage) and his wife Laywa are amazing!

We got to do and see many things... We went and taught english to a group of Thai police. That was a fun experience. We taught them different sayings in order to give directions in english. That day we also went to a local school to teach english. We were able to teach them how to introduce themselves in english. We then got to present the gospel using the Good News bracelet. It was so much fun! It was amazing to see how the kids responded to the Gospel!

One of the experiences that will forever be imprinted in my mind and heart was our trip to the Buddhist Temple. Before we left Ricky prepared us by leading us in worship. He then encouraged us to go into the temple with a quite heart and listen for the Lord's leading. He said that we should go into the temple rejoicing the Lord Jesus Christ. As we went to the temple you could feel the oppression in the place. We went in and sang hymns, read scripture and praised the Lord! It was such a sweet and powerful time. We then met two nuns who we were able to share the Gospel with. Then we got to meet Madam Duang Kum, what an amazing woman! She is 72 years old and has been a Buddhist nun for over 20 years. Within the past year she has accepted the Lord Jesus as her Savior. We were able to talk and pray with her and encourage her in her walk with the Lord. It was a very sweet time!

We drove 5 hours to Petchabun refugee camp. What an experience. We were only allowed to go in for about an hour but we were able to pass out some supplies we brought and were able to encourage the people there. They only let out about 1000 of the 8000 people of the camp. It was such a powerful experience. As we left we were all in tears. These people were suffering so bad and there was not much we could do. I pray that I will not forget what I saw there and I would work to give these people a voice.

Our fun day consisted of riding elephants and bamboo river rafting! It was so much fun to do these things! What an experience!!! We also got to go to some street markets and finished our time at the night bazzar. It was so good to do some of the typical Thai things.

So there really is so many stories I would love to share with you and maybe one day I will be able to share even more. What an amazing experince!

Derek, Beth, Starbucks and tears....

I had a very sweet weekend and wanted to share a bit of my heart with you...

I was sitting in Starbucks Saturday morning armed with my book, my Bible, my journal, my caramel white mocha and my ipod. I didn't even see it coming but by the time I left my face was tear streaked and my heart was rejoicing. I had one of those sweet moments with the Lord where I just knew life would be ok.

It has been a hard couple of weeks for me. I have not been to work in over 3 weeks due to a back injury. I couldn't even get out of the house for about 2 of those. I have been struggling through some hard stuff not know what was the point of it all. I found out that someone very dear to me tried to take his life in December. I was frustrated at how much pain there is in the world. How Satan is so powerful and can take a hold of people lives. I was tired of feeling unworthy of being loved. I was believing lies and believing that I would always be a victim. That my victimization would haunt me for the rest of my life. I have hurt people in my life because I didn't think I could be loved and therefore pulled away from people.

As I sat at the table Saturday reading a book by Beth Moore called Jesus The One and Only I was reading about how big my God is and how much He truly loves me and wants me to live a life outside of the captivity of lies. I know that the enemy wants me to believe that I'm not worthy and he does a good job at it. I know that I have been being attacked, but on Saturday all I could hear was how I was worth fighting for. How much I am worth to this God that He will fight for my heart. At that point I was listening to Derek Webb and He was singing a song called I will repent. I began to weep as I repented my unbelief. I don't know how long I sat there weeping but I know that it was so good to lay my unbelief down. I felt such a joy come over me.

I love those sweet moments the Lord gives me where I can sit with Him and know that He is good!

The rest of the day was so very sweet to my heart. I was able to spend time with friends and felt as though I was able to truly love them well. I felt as though I was overflowing with love and wanted to love all those around me. We actually went to see Derek Webb in concert that night. It was so good. He did not sing I will repent (which is a good thing because I feel as though I may have lost it again... Crying in Starbucks is one thing, but at a concert is totally different!) It was a fun time to spend with people I love! I felt loved by these people in such a sweet way that night.

I do pray that the Lord will continue to give me an overflowing love that I can love those around me well. I pray that I can love those who are struggling and I pray that I can live in truth. I leave in 3 days for Thailand and I'm excited to see how the Lord uses this love over there. I'm excited to be out of my pit and able to be loved again and able to love others.

As a side note I just got new glasses... here is a picture!