Thankful for Today 3.17.13

1) Spring weather! It has been beautiful around here this past week, mid-70's and sunny. I have enjoyed sitting outside reading, journaling and just watching the pups run and play in the backyard. I love this time of year, things began to turn green again, life is sprouted from the ground and I can just enjoy the beauty of creation!

2) Food trucks and the gathering of them at the food truck parks. Last night I met some friends at Clear Fork Food Truck park for supper. It's has become one of my favorite new places to go. I took Daisy with me and she enjoyed seeing all the other dogs and families. I got a sandwich from Gorgonzilla... It had Munster cheese, creamy goat cheese, peppered bacon, spinach and grilled mushrooms on it... AMAZING!

3) My home group. Last August I officially changed churches, I am now a covenant member at The Village Church. It has been such an amazing transition in my life! As a result I've become a part of a home group. We currently meet Sunday mornings (The Village is launching a new campus here in Fort worth and only have a 5:00pm service right now). It been so amazing to live life on life with these people. We meet about a mile from my house and just dig into what God is teaching us. It has been so good for my heart!

4) Good movies! I saw Oz-The great and powerful today.... SO GOOD! I haven't seen a movie in the theater in a long time and this one was well worth it!

5) Another relaxing weekend!

New Season

I feel like I'm in a season of regrowth and new beginnings. I'm in such an interesting place in life. I'll be 32 in three weeks. I never thought this is what life would look like at 32. I always pictured myself married with the beginnings of a family by this point. I sat back and watched this happen for the majority of my friends and have dreamt of the day I would be the one in the pretty white dress. That day has yet to come and about 3 months ago I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do... I surrendered! I laid the desire of a husband, of a family, down at the foot of the cross. I spent the next month crying, as I mourned the loss of that desire, it was such a hard time and yet I had such comfort in knowing that I was being obedient to what Christ was asking me to do. In my obedience the pit of loneliness has been taken from my soul.  My eyes began to be opened to the renewed joy that was in my heart. For the first time since I can remember I was able to rejoice with friends in the news they were expecting. The twinge of bitterness never even showed his face! The hurt is being healed at the root and is sprouting new life within me. I long to see what will grow out of this season!

Relationships...

The Lord has been teaching me so many things lately and has me in such a sweet spot. He has been showing me a lot about relationships lately, my relationship with God, my relationships with friends and my desire for a relationship with the man who may become my husband. Over the past few years I have really struggled with loneliness... I have had this pit of loneliness in my heart and have sought out all the wrong ways to fill that pit, only for it deepen.

I have been so hurt by the invitations that did not come, the Facebook pictures I was not in, the phone calls I did not receive, and the lonely nights I spent at home. I have wanted so badly to be known and yet I ran away from the only one who will ever truly know me

About 3 months ago I had an amazing encounter with The Lord, He has opened my eyes and heart to so many things. He has drawn me closer and closer to Himself in the lack of earthly relationships. He has allowed me to fall more and more in love with Him. And in the midst of that has brought me sweet fellowship and community. I once again feel like I have people to walk through life with and have community. It's been amazing to look back over the past few months and realize that the pit of loneliness has been filled by the only One who can fill it and out of that has come so many blessings!. I have had a true joy in my heart and have been able really live in the here and now.

I am so thankful for those friendships that have lasted the test of time. Those friendships that no matter the time we can pick up right where we left off. Those friendships that are more like family than anything. Those friendships in which I can laugh, cry, be known and still be loved.

I still get that twinge of jealousy (or bitterness) in my heart when I am faced with the reality that people I once called my closest friends have moved  on and I no longer hold that title in their lives; I am also thankful that God is in the business of restoration!