Relationships...

The Lord has been teaching me so many things lately and has me in such a sweet spot. He has been showing me a lot about relationships lately, my relationship with God, my relationships with friends and my desire for a relationship with the man who may become my husband. Over the past few years I have really struggled with loneliness... I have had this pit of loneliness in my heart and have sought out all the wrong ways to fill that pit, only for it deepen.

I have been so hurt by the invitations that did not come, the Facebook pictures I was not in, the phone calls I did not receive, and the lonely nights I spent at home. I have wanted so badly to be known and yet I ran away from the only one who will ever truly know me

About 3 months ago I had an amazing encounter with The Lord, He has opened my eyes and heart to so many things. He has drawn me closer and closer to Himself in the lack of earthly relationships. He has allowed me to fall more and more in love with Him. And in the midst of that has brought me sweet fellowship and community. I once again feel like I have people to walk through life with and have community. It's been amazing to look back over the past few months and realize that the pit of loneliness has been filled by the only One who can fill it and out of that has come so many blessings!. I have had a true joy in my heart and have been able really live in the here and now.

I am so thankful for those friendships that have lasted the test of time. Those friendships that no matter the time we can pick up right where we left off. Those friendships that are more like family than anything. Those friendships in which I can laugh, cry, be known and still be loved.

I still get that twinge of jealousy (or bitterness) in my heart when I am faced with the reality that people I once called my closest friends have moved  on and I no longer hold that title in their lives; I am also thankful that God is in the business of restoration!