Thankful for today 5.10.13

I have been amazed over the past few weeks how God has answered so many specific prayers that I have prayed. I am so thankful that God answers prayers! So today my 5 things I'm thankful for are truly answered prayers!

1)  Since I have moved to Fort Worth I have prayed for community. I have had seasons of really sweet community and fellowship but none like this current season. The Lord has blessed me recently with really sweet friendships that have been such an answer to this prayer! Every Monday I get the opportunity to spend my {extended} lunch break with one of these sweet friends. We have spent the last 4 months studying Gods word together and digging into each others lives. We spend our Mondays laughing and crying and learning more about God. It's become my favorite time of most every week!

2)  Children! It's been so sweet how the Lord has brought sweet little children into my life whom I just love and adore. I have loved spending time with my friends children and watching them grow. I think that's one of the greatest parts of living in community. I love holding the little bits and hearing them coo, my heart melts hearing these little ones call my name, and I just love rejoicing with my friends as they are expecting! I have struggled with the idea that I may never have a family of my own but The Lord has been so sweet to give me put these sweet children in my life in which my heart overflows for!

3) Being able to {really truly} rejoice with a sweet  friend as she got engaged. My dear friend Kati got engaged to an amazing man 2 weeks ago. My eyes filled with tears and my heart overflowed with joy when I heard the words "I'm getting married" come out of her mouth. It has been so sweet to walk with her and pray with her in this journey as she has prayed for her husband and I will be honored to stand up on July 7th in support of this marriage!

4) For how God has drawn me back to Him. These past few years have been hard! I don't think I realized how hard they were until now. I am realizing now how far I had drifted from the God I loved. It's been so sweet to be drawn back into His presence!

5) Ever since I spent 18 months at Heartlight my heart has been burdened to walk alongside people who are struggling. I have wanted to love people in the midst of the hardness of life and I have wanted to enter into the lives of those who are hurting and love them well. That was the motivation for getting my Social Work degrees and what drew me to working at MCOT. When I was given the opportunity to move into administration I really struggled with leaving direct care. I am in constant awe of how God is using the gifts He has given me and the desires He has laid on my heart to walk alongside my staff in hard times. I love that in my position I can really support my staff in a sweet way and that I can provide them with love and support. The people I work with really have become like family to me. I mourn when they mourn and I rejoice when they rejoice. I L-O-V-E how God knew this job would be the answer to my prayers I began praying almost 10 years ago!

Thankful for Today 3.17.13

1) Spring weather! It has been beautiful around here this past week, mid-70's and sunny. I have enjoyed sitting outside reading, journaling and just watching the pups run and play in the backyard. I love this time of year, things began to turn green again, life is sprouted from the ground and I can just enjoy the beauty of creation!

2) Food trucks and the gathering of them at the food truck parks. Last night I met some friends at Clear Fork Food Truck park for supper. It's has become one of my favorite new places to go. I took Daisy with me and she enjoyed seeing all the other dogs and families. I got a sandwich from Gorgonzilla... It had Munster cheese, creamy goat cheese, peppered bacon, spinach and grilled mushrooms on it... AMAZING!

3) My home group. Last August I officially changed churches, I am now a covenant member at The Village Church. It has been such an amazing transition in my life! As a result I've become a part of a home group. We currently meet Sunday mornings (The Village is launching a new campus here in Fort worth and only have a 5:00pm service right now). It been so amazing to live life on life with these people. We meet about a mile from my house and just dig into what God is teaching us. It has been so good for my heart!

4) Good movies! I saw Oz-The great and powerful today.... SO GOOD! I haven't seen a movie in the theater in a long time and this one was well worth it!

5) Another relaxing weekend!

New Season

I feel like I'm in a season of regrowth and new beginnings. I'm in such an interesting place in life. I'll be 32 in three weeks. I never thought this is what life would look like at 32. I always pictured myself married with the beginnings of a family by this point. I sat back and watched this happen for the majority of my friends and have dreamt of the day I would be the one in the pretty white dress. That day has yet to come and about 3 months ago I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do... I surrendered! I laid the desire of a husband, of a family, down at the foot of the cross. I spent the next month crying, as I mourned the loss of that desire, it was such a hard time and yet I had such comfort in knowing that I was being obedient to what Christ was asking me to do. In my obedience the pit of loneliness has been taken from my soul.  My eyes began to be opened to the renewed joy that was in my heart. For the first time since I can remember I was able to rejoice with friends in the news they were expecting. The twinge of bitterness never even showed his face! The hurt is being healed at the root and is sprouting new life within me. I long to see what will grow out of this season!

Relationships...

The Lord has been teaching me so many things lately and has me in such a sweet spot. He has been showing me a lot about relationships lately, my relationship with God, my relationships with friends and my desire for a relationship with the man who may become my husband. Over the past few years I have really struggled with loneliness... I have had this pit of loneliness in my heart and have sought out all the wrong ways to fill that pit, only for it deepen.

I have been so hurt by the invitations that did not come, the Facebook pictures I was not in, the phone calls I did not receive, and the lonely nights I spent at home. I have wanted so badly to be known and yet I ran away from the only one who will ever truly know me

About 3 months ago I had an amazing encounter with The Lord, He has opened my eyes and heart to so many things. He has drawn me closer and closer to Himself in the lack of earthly relationships. He has allowed me to fall more and more in love with Him. And in the midst of that has brought me sweet fellowship and community. I once again feel like I have people to walk through life with and have community. It's been amazing to look back over the past few months and realize that the pit of loneliness has been filled by the only One who can fill it and out of that has come so many blessings!. I have had a true joy in my heart and have been able really live in the here and now.

I am so thankful for those friendships that have lasted the test of time. Those friendships that no matter the time we can pick up right where we left off. Those friendships that are more like family than anything. Those friendships in which I can laugh, cry, be known and still be loved.

I still get that twinge of jealousy (or bitterness) in my heart when I am faced with the reality that people I once called my closest friends have moved  on and I no longer hold that title in their lives; I am also thankful that God is in the business of restoration!

Thankful for Today 12.9.12

1) Weekends! It's so nice to have weekends off to do the things I need to do and to rest and relax. The work week always seems so long but the weekends are a breath of fresh air. 

2) For a sewing machine. I've been wanting to learn how to sew for years now but didn't really want to spend that much money on something I wasn't sure if I'd be good at. One of my staff came to work one day with his wife's old sewing machine and gave it to me as a gift! It's an old machine but does the job. I've been sewing many new things. I do think that I will be purchasing a new fancier one once I get the hang of this a little more.

3) Sunday afternoon naps! 

4) The Village Church. Around 6 months ago I made the official move and began going to The Village Church, a church I have loved since I've moved to Fort Worth but always felt so far away. It's about a 45 minute drive and I wanted to find somewhere in Fort Worth. So when I found out they opening a campus in Fort Worth I knew it was a good move.  I love the spirit of the church and its been a sweet transition. 

5) Being able to walk through life with dear friends even when they lives miles away. Do you have people in your life who just bring joy to your heart? Friends who you can share your life with and who will love you through all of it? I got to talk with one of my dearest and sweetest friends on Saturday and it was so good for my heart. We laughed, I cried and we just shared where God has us. She called because she has a big decision to make and wanted my thoughts and wisdom. How sweet it is to be able to walk with people through life!  

Thankful for Today 12.4.12

It's been awhile but I've now got Internet at home and hope to continue this great tradition... It's always sweet to my heart to think through the times I am thankful each day! It allows me to live in the here and now and be able to focus on the good in each day! Hope you enjoy walking through my thankfulness with me in my blog!

1) Having a flexible schedule at work.  I ended up being out late last night on a crisis call and it was amazing to be able to sleep in a little bit and stroll into work around 9:30... And I had the flexibility to go to lunch when I needed to and also sneak away in the afternoon to meet up with an old friend! I love that my job allows for that type of flexibility and realize that is not normal.

2) For amazing co-workers, it so nice to be able to get along with those people I work alongside with.  I'm thankful for those co-workers who I can enjoy working with and who spur me on to be a better employee and a better person!

3) For amazing staff! I manager 41 staff and it's great how great they are.  I know that they are doing what they need to do and trust that they are representing my programs well! I am even more thankful for them as I spend more time on other units and see all of their drama.... Makes me thankful for my (mostly) drama free teams!

4) Reminders of God's sovereignty, grace and forgiveness! I meet up with an old friend today and it was so sweet to my heart to be reminded of those characteristics of God. I am thankful that God knows what I need better than I do and that He extends grace and forgiveness and allows me to extend those things to people in my life. 

5) My pups! You may or may not know that I got Daisy a friend! For the story of how she became a part of the family please go to my sweet friend Les' blog posting.  I love how well the girls get along and how they both like to cuddle as we go into the evening. 

Psalm 13

I just spent the evening listening to Shane & Shane along with Phil Wickham. I always love seeing Shane & Shane live because it is always such a moving show. Tonight was no different! They had only sung a few songs when the Spirit stirred in me and the tears began to fall... They  began to sing their song Psalm 13 and as I sang out with them, my God meet me where I was at.  The rest of the evening was spent in worship to my God, praising Him for who He is and where He has me.  I don't really know how to explain it but it was this crazy mixture of thankfulness and grief, contentment and loneliness, happiness and sorrow.  I have such a peace that I am exactly where I am suppose to be and yet life is so hard and lonely right now. 340 days ago I sat in my living room Christmas morning praying and pleading with God that I wouldn't have to spend one more holiday alone, and yet He continues to choose that for me. I could not have stated what my heart feels right now better than David did in Psalm 13 (and which Shane & Shane repened)...

Psalm 13

How long oh Lord will You forget me

How long oh Lord will You hide

Hide Your face from me

How long must I wrestle with me

and everyday have sorrow in my heart

sorrow in my heart

I will wait on You

I will wait on You

I will wait on You

Look on me Lord and answer me

Give my eyes light or I will sleep in death

I will sleep in death

My enemies say "I will overcome him"

and my foes rejoice even when I fall

I dont want to fall

For I will trust in Your unfailing love

My heart rejoices in Your salvation

I will sing to the Lord